A Plain-Spoken Guide to Sex Toys & Intimate Wellness
CloseToHand is the guide we wish we had the first time we walked into an adult store, calm, informative, and free of the wink-wink tone that makes an already awkward subject more awkward than it should be.
Sex toys have become one of the most talked-about categories in mainstream wellness writing. What used to be sold under fluorescent lights in back-street shops is now designed by industrial designers, made from medical-grade silicone, and reviewed with the same seriousness as headphones or kitchen appliances. That shift is a good thing. It means people can make informed choices about their bodies without shame, and it means the writing about them can finally match.
This site is built around a simple idea: people looking for information about sex toys deserve the same quality of writing they’d get anywhere else on the internet. Clear categories, honest explanations of how things work, straight talk about materials and safety, and a genuine attempt to answer the question a real reader is asking. No affiliate rankings dressed up as journalism, no “the ten best toys of the year” lists that all mysteriously agree with each other, and no assumption that everyone reading is a 24-year-old in a heterosexual couple.
Start with a reader guide
Most people arrive at a site like this with themselves in mind, or someone they’re shopping for or with. Our reader guides are written as gentle on-ramps for each audience, and they’re the fastest way to figure out which parts of the library are worth your time.
If you’re shopping for yourself and want an unhurried, non-judgmental starting point, read our guide to sex toys for women or the parallel one for sex toys for men. If you’re part of a couple thinking about bringing a toy into the bedroom for the first time (or the tenth), see our guide to sex toys for couples. If it’s all new to you and the vocabulary alone feels overwhelming, the beginner’s guide is written specifically for a first purchase. And if you’re a gay, lesbian, bi, trans or non-binary reader tired of adult-industry marketing that assumes you don’t exist, our LGBTQ+ guide is where to start.
Understand the categories
Once you have a reader in mind, the next step is to understand the shelf. Our complete taxonomy of sex toys covers this in depth, it’s a plain-language map of every major category from bullets and wands to plugs and prostate massagers, and it makes the rest of the library much easier to read.
From there, the deep dives cover each major category. The vibrators guide walks through every subtype from bullet to wand to air-pulse. The dildos guide covers sizes, shapes and materials. The male masturbators guide covers strokers, automatic devices and cock rings. For readers exploring specific categories, we have detailed guides to anal toys, BDSM gear, long-distance app-controlled toys, discreet options for shared living situations, and budget picks that don’t compromise on safety.
Reference, safety and industry
Every category is downstream of a few reference questions that cut across the category. Our essay on what makes a toy “the best” is a deliberate counter-programming piece against the ranked-list industrial complex: a framework for evaluating any product yourself rather than trusting a stranger’s top ten. Our materials guide is the single most important reference on the site, it explains why medical-grade silicone matters and which materials to avoid. Our safety checklist covers the practical, unglamorous rules that keep toys from causing trouble.
Two industry-context pages sit alongside these. The regulation and standards guide explains what governs the sex toy category, CE marking, UKCA, FDA classification, body-safe standards and materials law in the UK, EU and US. The brands and retailers guide maps the industry itself: who makes what, which retailers are trustworthy, and how to tell a premium operator from an opportunistic one.
Practical care
The most-read essays on many sites in this space are the practical ones, the questions people type into search engines late at night with a toy already in hand. Our how-to-use guide covers the practical mechanics of a first session, our cleaning guide walks through the material-specific procedures that keep toys safe over time, and our storage guide covers the mundane but consequential question of where and how to keep the toys you own.
The House View on a Few Things
Every editorial site has opinions, whether it admits to them or not. Ours are stated openly.
Materials matter more than motors. A cheap toy in body-safe silicone is a better long-term buy than an expensive toy in a porous material that will need to be replaced in a year. If you take one thing away from this site, it should be a habit of checking the material line before anything else, see our materials guide for the detail.
Simple is usually better than clever. Toys with fewer moving parts, fewer app dependencies and fewer flashing lights tend to last longer, break less, and still work in three years when the app’s parent company has been acquired and the servers have gone dark. Ten patterns is not better than three good ones.
The best toy is the one you’ll use. A quiet, small, unassuming toy that lives comfortably in your bedside drawer will be used more often than a large, loud, elaborate one that feels like a project every time. The frequency of use is what earns a toy its price, a theme we return to in the framework essay and the discreet toys guide.
Nothing here is medical advice. If you have specific questions about your body, pain, discomfort, recovery from surgery, pregnancy, a chronic condition, a doctor is the right person to ask, not a website. We can help you understand what a product is and how it works. We can’t tell you whether it’s right for your body.
A word on reviews and rankings
You’ll notice a deliberate absence of numerical rankings on this site. That’s not because we don’t have views, we do, but because rankings in this category are usually shaped by the affiliate economy, and the reader is usually not told. A ranked list of “the ten best vibrators” written by a site that earns a commission on each one is a sales tool wearing the costume of journalism, and it does the reader a real disservice by hiding its incentives.
What we do instead is teach the frameworks. Once you understand the categories, the materials, the mechanisms and the trade-offs, you can walk into any store or any online catalogue and evaluate a product for yourself. That’s a more durable skill than a rotating top-ten list, and it doesn’t expire when the affiliate deals change. Our brands and retailers guide covers who’s who in the industry so you know which operators to trust.
A final note
The subject matter of this site is entirely ordinary. Sex toys are consumer products that a majority of adults have used. The reason writing about them still feels like a novelty is that the culture has spent a long time treating them as either a joke or a scandal, and neither serves the reader. We’d rather write the way a good product guide in any other category is written, and let the subject be as ordinary as it is.
Thanks for reading. The library is above and in the footer of every page, so wander freely.
Frequently asked questions
Are sex toys safe to use?
Sex toys made from body-safe, non-porous materials are safe for adult use when cleaned properly. The materials to look for are medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, borosilicate glass and 316L stainless steel. Materials to avoid include jelly and unlabelled soft plastics. Our materials guide covers the details.
What material should I choose for my first toy?
Medical-grade silicone. It is soft, non-porous, easy to clean, safe with water-based lube, and lasts for years. It has become the standard across the category and is available at nearly every price point.
How do I clean a sex toy?
Wash with warm water and unscented soap before and after every use. Silicone, glass and stainless-steel toys without electronics can be boiled for three minutes for periodic deep cleaning. Never submerge electronic toys unless they are marked as waterproof. The full material-by-material procedure is in our cleaning guide.
What lube should I use with a silicone toy?
Water-based lube only. Silicone-based lubes bond with silicone toys and permanently damage the surface. Water-based lube is compatible with every toy material, so if you keep one bottle in your drawer, make it water-based.
Are sex toys legal in the UK?
Yes. Sex toys are legal to purchase, own and use for adults aged 18 and over. Online retailers are required to make reasonable efforts to verify the age of purchasers. Our regulation guide covers the UK, EU and US frameworks in detail.
How do I choose my first sex toy?
Buy small, buy silicone, and buy quiet. Small toys are less intimidating, easier to store, and get used more often. Silicone is safe and forgiving. Quiet toys matter more than most first-time buyers expect, especially in shared living. Our beginner's guide walks through the whole first purchase.
Where is a good place to buy?
Directly from the manufacturer, from an established specialty retailer, or from a major multi-category retailer with a proper returns policy. Anonymous marketplaces are the site of most counterfeit activity in the category. Our guide to brands and retailers maps the industry.
How long does a sex toy last?
Silicone, glass and stainless-steel toys, cared for properly, can last for years or decades. TPE strokers and other porous materials should be replaced every six to eighteen months of regular use. Rechargeable toys are limited by battery lifespan, typically three to five years.